How do you look after yourself during the Christmas period with a chronic illness or condition?
I found myself discussing Christmas with a client last week who is already planning for her inevitable setback in January. Is this unavoidable?
I also went to my first Christmas-themed dinner this week. I walked into a crowd of people, very loud music and flashing lights on a 20ft tall Christmas tree. I thought... how would somebody with noise and light sensitivity cope?
Christmas can involve a significant increase in activity levels, from buying and wrapping presents, attending social gatherings, dealing with increased noise and light, hosting, cooking……
How can you enjoy Christmas but minimise the impact?
The combination of expectations from yourself and others, coupled with our desire to maintain family traditions and pass them on to our own families can result in overwhelm.
There aren’t necessarily any perfect answers to avoiding this. However, I would like to offer these tips and suggestions for changes that can be considered.
Present shopping and wrapping
I love trying to find the right present for the right person. However, I have learned that at times my niece, nephew, children would prefer a gift voucher to spend on something they actually want - easy. Those I do buy for can be done in a paced way over weeks not in the few days before Christmas.
I like shopping but I also like browsing the internet - could I buy gifts online?
I also like wrapping, but if energy or time is an issue maybe you could get your presents gift-wrapped or pop them into gift bags. I recall a client many years ago saying gift bags had made a huge difference and didn’t feel too much of a compromise.
Attending Christmas Social events
The expectation to see friends and family at Christmas is huge even if you haven’t seen them all year.
Communicate with friends and relatives about the difficulties of managing these things. Look at our other article related to managing social events
Plan manageable visits
Extend plans into the new year
Use skype or FaceTime if its too much to attend
Remember that you have choices and that only you can take responsibility for how you manage the extra demands
In terms of social events themselves, like the one I have just been to, the woman sat next to me at dinner was wearing earplugs which reduced the noise, but we could still have a conversation. You could also consider:
Asking to have a seat in the quietest spot - not facing the tree or near speakers
Asking for the music to be turned down slightly
Could you go for just pudding?
Maybe it’s impossible to attend at all... If you’re wondering about whether to go to a Christmas social events ideally you need to think through the implications of attending before agreeing to go. If you do go, allow for plenty of recovery time after the event.
Christmas dinner
Preferably get somebody else to do it or at least help
Order the food in advance; consider getting it delivered
Be realistic; avoid as much prep and stress as possible. Glossy magazines may try to persuade you that the turkey needs to come with carrots glazed in honey, sprouts roasted with bacon lardons, leeks baked in a cheese sauce…. but maybe frozen carrots and peas will do.
Thank goodness it is acceptable to have a bought Christmas pudding… or is it?
Get people to help: maybe they could bring a dish, clear up, lay the table…
Finally
If your current health means you cannot do everything, think about the bits that are most important to you, the things you love: prioritise these and maybe you can compromise on everything else?
For me it is two things
Christmas stockings with novelty gifts and chocolate. I prepare these for my husband, children and mum. I spend time searching for nonsense gifts that they don’t even want but it brings me pleasure to do this
Having roast turkey. It doesn’t have to have all the trimmings, but it must be turkey
I am willing to compromise on almost everything else!
You could of course fly to the Canaries and escape Christmas and the weather…but if you can’t manage that, at least take some down time to relax, rest and have some fun too.
Written by Beverly Knops Specialist Occupational Therapist and Executive Manager & Katherine Sewell