Tired, in pain but expected to attend... Weddings, Funerals and parties. Top tips for managing Social events.
Tired, in pain but expected to attend… Top tips for managing Social events
Think about whether you have to say yes!
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, consider going for part of the event.
Contact the venue to check access, seating, distance to the toilet.
Ask for your special dietary needs to be taken care of
If you have any food intolerances check the venue can cater for these, and if you find queuing for a buffet tiring maybe ask them or the hosts to put a small plate to one side for you.
Prepare outfit, travel and presents ahead of the event.
Choose an outfit that you are comfortable in – some people find formal clothing difficult to relax in and takes too much energy.
Plan a quiet day aterwards
Make sure you do not over-exert yourself
Plan a quiet day the day after.
Have a quiet day leading up to the event but remember you can’t bank energy. Just make sure you do not overexert yourself before you go.
Think about transport. If you drive yourself you can leave when you are ready. If someone else is driving make sure they are aware if you want to leave before the end. A taxi may be wise as the driver can drop you off right outside.
Let people close to you know your plans. Ask them to support your decision-making re timings etc and to support you when you are there. Can they take over talking to Great Aunt Nora to give you a break?
If the event is a distance from home consider staying overnight. This means you also have a room to retreat to for a rest.
If you enjoy dancing think about pacing yourself.
Dance and take breaks
Think about the effect of alcohol on any medication you are taking and your rational thinking.
If you are anxious about going alone arrange to meet a friend outside the venue.
If you experience sensory overload find a quiet space and take a break.
Ask the venue about lighting, they may be happy to turn it down.
Take a rest in a quiet low sensory environment
So it is possible to attend a social event like a wedding with a bit of preparation and consideration of your limitations beforehand. The main thing is to not expect too much from yourself after the event or around travelling to it and so on, and to keep friends and family informed about how they can support you.
Written by Amanda Mason, Careers Advisor for people with Chronic Pain and Fatigue, & Beverly Knops, Executive Manager and Specialist Fatigue and Pain Clinician
