Greeting the new year…
It’s that time of year again when I decide that the moment has come to create a list of intentions and resolutions. As we all know, however, once the initial momentum of a shiny, fresh new year has dissolved into the relentless greyness of January and February it can be only a matter of time before the resolutions are pretty much discarded amidst a haze of vague guilt. With the continuing doom and gloom related to the state of the world, the cost of living crisis, the war in the Ukraine, the tensions in the middle east and the ever changing political climate….. perhaps this is more of a challenge than ever to keep ones spirits and positive optimistic momentum up.
So, it’s left me pondering how it might be possible to create positive habits that stick. At Vitality360 we have a mission to support people to create healthy futures to optimise their vitality. As someone with a long-term fatigue condition, I feel it’s very important that we have the integrity to ‘practise what we preach’ in our rehabilitation programmes. Positive habits are, after all, surely those that optimise our wellbeing, and enable us to practise self-care for optimum physical, emotional and mental health. We can all benefit from this, whether we have a chronic health condition or not.
So, what do we need to consider?
Take stock of less-than-healthy habits
It’s worth considering as gently and honestly as we can what are some of the things that we do despite knowing they perhaps are not in our best interests. For example, for many years I would eat my dinner whilst blobbed out in front of the tv, which eventually contributed to my developing a stomach ulcer.
Consider what the imagined ‘pay off’ is from engaging in such habits
This could be something that ostensibly makes you feel better, such as helping you to relax. Using my example of eating in front of the tv, what I came to realise was that whilst it felt pleasurable in the moment, it repeatedly left me with digestion pain once I had finished eating. So, identifying the very legitimate need for relaxation which was underneath the habit was helpful.
Be compassionate
As part of this growing awareness of my behaviour patterns, it’s been crucial to foster a gentle probing, rather than seeing the behaviour as ‘bad and wrong’ and another stick for my inner critic to beat myself with. Accepting the healthy human need underneath helps with this, whether it’s connection, comfort, safety, pleasure, relaxation, meaning, or any other myriad of reasons.
What are other more positive behaviour choices that could be made?
Through gaining more support and knowledge around my digestive issues, I was able to acknowledge the centrality of changing how I was eating to alleviate stomach pain. At worst, I needed to eat undistracted or at best, fully mindful. This helped to support a different behaviour choice and find other ways to meet my need for relaxation.
Get motivation on board
Altering any entrenched habit is tough and requires a commitment and, in my experience, if the vision of what I am moving towards (e.g. to be free of digestive pain) outweighs the ‘pay off’ then I am more likely to be motivated to do it. It’s also worth thinking about how we are feeling post-Christmas. If you are feeling depleted, for example, then it’s probably wise to replenish with rest and self-care before tackling challenging changes. It’s tough to change something if we are feeling in a low mental state or mood at the outset.
Keep realistic
It can be helpful to identify what type of personality you have when it comes to achieving tasks and reflect on what tends to work and what doesn’t. For me, with the eating and tv example, I had to approach it in an ‘all or nothing’ way, as I struggle to dabble without falling off the wagon totally, so to speak. It’s also crucial to be gentle about any lapses too. For example, today I was keen to watch some footage from an event at lunchtime, so I consciously decided to eat lunch while watching and risk a painful stomach.
Share and seek support
This is part of being realistic, as sheer willpower may not be enough, especially if it’s a habit that’s been there a long time. Sharing intentions with friends or family can be supportive; or even doing them with others can be better still.
8. Rewarding positive changes
One of the breakthroughs for me was when a clinician at a fatigue clinic recommended that I find a way to reward myself for each of the small changes I made daily. This was for a more detrimental habit that was bordering on low level addiction. I felt quite a lot of shame about it, but being open with him helped, and then he had a brilliant suggestion to keep myself motivated. I now have a glass jar and whenever I complete a positive change that supports my wellbeing and health, I add a colourful glass bead to it. The idea is that when it reaches a certain level of fullness, I can treat myself with an item of clothing, a pair of shoes or whatever else feels motivating/indulgent. It appeals to the sticky star reward system of schooldays and because it gets my inner, playful child on board too, I have been astounded at how motivating it’s been!
Wishing you luck with creating the changes you would like in your lifestyle as we move into this new year and the continuing resilience that these times call for.
Written by Katherine Sewell